Knew I Was . . .

“I will never leave you”, they vowed to each other. They did not want to bother about the times ahead and let the things unfold as they are bound to. Being happy in each other’s company, they just wished that it could go on forever in their lives. They would just lay in each other arms forgetting the entire world around them.

Time and distance played their role to perfection; created circumstances that tested their bonding. In their small happy world, discussions and arguments took birth. They would occasionally stretch into hours of silence between them. They eventually made up and grew stronger in the relationship. Sometimes fights in the relationship are important to understand each other better.  While both of them were possessive, he was a notch higher. It choked her at times.

As the times of testing got harder, turbulences became greater. Pangs of separation have started to hurt him. He wanted to see her, be with her even more. Not being able to communicate frequently hurt him even more. Pouring out concerns and debating them have dominated the most of the little time that was available for them. In spite of being aware of the importance of the time, the mountain of emotions got better of him. He knew it was testing times. But unknowingly his love had gagged her.

Time doesn’t always provide second chances. That day, it wasn’t enough for the patch up as she wasn’t reachable. Next couple of hours were uneventful. It was the silence before the storm. His phone beeped and was excited to message from her. There was a mail waiting for him. He slumped as soon as he saw it. It was from her and it read “Knew I was losing you”. He could not read it any further. It shook him up. He replied, hoping it to be a horrible joke being played on him and waited eagerly for a response. It was dawn and the sun was already high and shining resplendently. Still the computer said “There is no new mail”.

It is HER . . .

I felt some weight on my hand as I lay on the bed with my hands outstretched. My tired eyes were shut tight. I didn't care to bother. I could feel the long strands of hair tickle my skin as the weight moved closer to my shoulder. A hand crossed my chest and held me. I felt her close to me. She was now painfully close. I could feel her bosom against me. I could feel her grip soften. I was surprised. Then I could feel the long hair covering my face. The smell was strikingly familiar. Before I could realize, I felt the soft lips devour mine. The taste buds recognized the flavour immediately. I desperately waited for her. I loved her. I wanted to see her. As I accomplished the herculean task of opening my eyes, I saw encompassing darkness around myself.

I Feel Like . . .

I feel like seeing you, but you aren’t visible

I feel like listening to you, but you aren’t audible

I feel like talking to you, but you aren’t listening

I feel like sharing with you, but you didn’t care

I feel like holding you, but you aren't present

I feel like hugging you, but you resist

I feel like being with you, but I am alone

Waiting . . .

Within minutes of the downpour, the rain had left me completely wet, when I was dry from within. I was emptied of all that I had. The clouds too desiccated and slowly parted ways paving the path for the sun to take the centre stage. Droplets of water shone like tiny pearls. The sunlight warmed my shivering body. Even the canopy of trees could not resist some of the rays coming from above. Gloomy rainy morning had transformed into sunny afternoon. I was still waiting with a hope to see her again. She had promised to be back soon.

The shadows started to become long and fade by the day.  The quite environment had turned into a noisy neighbourhood, as the hustling birds chirped raucously announcing their arrival back home. It was getting cold by the minute. I tucked my hands in the pockets and rested at the place where we had parted. I kept rubbing my hands against each other regularly to keep myself warm. Night had dawned and there was still no sight of her. The din had been replaced with the owls hooting, squeaking and creaking of crickets and others. It was a long night listening to the different sounds of the nature. The unobtrusive sounds of the night have gradually died down. The huge dark orange ball started to emerge from the horizon. It brought warmth and comfort. I eagerly looked around if she was just trying to play hide and seek with me. I looked everywhere possible, but she wasn’t there. In the deepest of my heart I knew she would come. A new day has begun, but my wait has been old as I kept looking in the woods waiting for her. 

A Walk in the Woods . . .

Birds chirped as they left their homes. Squirrels and lizards scurried through the trees. The breeze carried the fragrance of the wet soil across the forest. There was a distant roar of the waterfall. The droplets of water glistened in the sunlight that timidly sneaked its way through the thick canopy formed by the trees. Early morning drizzle had moistened the dry leaves lying around. Some leaves which dared the morning drizzle, quivered in the breeze. They whimpered as we trampled them mercilessly without paying much heed to their existence. 

She walked in the front, as I followed her close enough to feel her presence. She was glowing as the sunlight lit her skin. She was looking unblemished, flawless and as fresh as the surroundings around. Her fragrance filled my lungs. Her hair bounced on her shoulders as she walked carefully trying to avoid the roots and fallen branches. I could not resist myself from being cast under the spell of her beauty.

The nature was exhilarating. We did not speak much before she tripped over suddenly. Before she could fall I held her hand and helped her recover. She smiled as if she knew that I would not let her down. As we resumed our walk through the woods, she held my hand and walked. I hesitated; she held it even firmly, looked at me and smiled. She made me feel comfortable. She moved closer and put my arm around her. I could feel her body against mine as we slowed down our pace.

She started to run. As I looked up, I established the reason. He was standing at the far end, probably waiting for her. I was knocked out before I could savour the moment completely. I looked helplessly as she parted from me. I could not help but watch her just go away, only wishing she would stop in her tracks and turn. The vision started to get hazy as the water became too heavy for the eyes to hold on longer. They synthesised with the rain as both came down at the same time, cloaking the weak moments. I don’t know if she ever looked back; I closed my eyes hard as the water from within merged with the rain outside.

We Fought Hard . . .

She ran like she ran for life. I had never seen being as fast as I continued to chase her. I was closing in on her when she did the unexpected. She turned sharply and flung it hard at me. Even before I could come to screeching halt, the violent blow took me by surprise. It shook me up a bit as she took one more hit at me before I recovered. I was now two strikes behind and sought revenge. I ran even harder to catch up with her. We exchanged numerous blows before I sensed her body giving away. Eyeing the opportunity, I went for the knock out. She fell on the bed as the cotton from the pillows was all around.  I fell onto the bed next to her as we laughed till we cried. We looked at each other and exchanged few things we could never say. I put my hand around her as she hugged me tight.

Sans Her

The knob turned and she was in the doorway smiling broadly, with open arms. As soon as I entered the room, she held me in warm embrace. She kissed delicately and made me comfortable. Her hug flushed out the day’s labour. I could feel her smooth fingers as I placed mine against hers.  She lay close to me, resting on my shoulder and playfully kissed the fingers. Her soft lips brushed against the fingers. She looked into my eyes lovingly and whispered in my ears. She was mine, as we lay there in each other’s arms.

The door clicked opened. Room lit brightly as I switched the lights on. The door closed behind me as I walked into the other room. It was empty. There was no life without her. Living without her was like living without life. 


I was alone and lonely.