New Year's Eve . . .

The streets started to wear a deserted look as the people scurried into the crowded rabbit holes playing loud music. Probably this was the only time when people paid generously to be among crowd. They celebrated the eve to welcome the New Year in a special way, to remember for the days and months to come. He too was no exception and wanted to make it special for her. He had been planning for weeks. He ordered a chocolate cake with liquid chocolate filling to make the eve special.

They spoke, mocked and laughed till their stomach couldn't take the pain anymore. Water filled their eyes as they laughed. He looked into her eyes. He moved closer to her and slowly wiped the tears of her face. The laughter slowly turned into a sheepish smile. He slowly kissed her cheeks and felt the salt water on his lips. He didn't mind it. She turned pink. Slowly he took her face in his palms. He looked into her eyes and bent slowly forward towards her. Her eyes started to close as he reached for her lips. He could feel her lips open little as he kissed them. She held him in her arms as they kissed passionately. They welcomed the year in each others’ embrace as the clock struck 12.

They cut the cake together and helped her with a small piece  The liquid started to drip as she bit into it. The chocolate dripped from her lips and he didn't waste a minute before reaching out, feeling her chocolate laden lips. As they shared the moment, she could feel coolness of a metal rising to her neck. Before she could say anything his hands reached behind her neck and clasped the hook. She couldn't speak as she starred at it and looked back at him. It was shining and augmented her slender neck. He smiled wickedly. Tears swelled in her eyes and she feel in his arms.

As he tried to extend his hand, he felt his hand grasped hard and shaken violently. He looked up to find people around him wishing each other, few of them smiling and laughing. Slowly many shook his hands. He searched for her desperately but in vain. She wasn't there. It took a while before he realized that she wasn't with him. He shed silent tears. He wasn't alone, but he felt lonely without her. A New Year eve without her.

It was raining & . . .

The mist covered the glass. The dark clouds looked vicious and relentless as they continued on their mission. It has been torrential down pour. The mist turned into droplets of water as I ran my fingers over the glass. The trees arched to stand as the wind lashed out hard at them. The lightning split the sky and the thunder that followed echoed for minutes.

I let my hand slide through the window to feel the rain coming down hard at anything in its way. Slowly, her fingers intertwined with mine as she joined me. She rested with her back to me in my arms. I could feel the softness of her skin. Her fragrance was intoxicating.  Her closeness was providing the required warmth and coziness.

I put my hand around her and pulled her close. She twitched as I felt her nape of the neck. Her fingers tightened the grip and locked mine. She closed her eyes as she let     head fall back on my shoulder. Her lips quivered. I could feel her breath. I moved to feel her skin, when few droplets splashed on my face. As I tried wiping them away, I only failed as they lashed out from within. I embraced myself reliving those memories and the view blurred again.

Image Source: http://digital-photography-school.com/13-fabulous-photos-of-a-rainy-day

I was . . .

This was the first time I ever sat in the corner of the open space on the first floor. It oversaw the vacant housing plots all around the house and the ring road beyond them, buzzing with the perennial flow of the vehicles en route to their destinations. The breeze swayed the trees and soon the clouds invaded the blue sky. In a distance I could see the sky changing its colours as the sun retired for the day. In few minutes it was going to be dark. The cool breeze caressed the skin. I could feel my body reacting to the changing weather as the goose bumps became quite prominent and the hair stood up as if they were in all readiness for a battle. Thick carpet of yellow flowers adorned the path in front of the house. The eclectic mix of colours by the nature can never be captured in their true form without any effluence.






I was slowly losing myself in the warmth of the nature when few memories crossed my silent mind. They started small but created ripples as they passed by. The moments I had spent with her have surfaced. I could feel the ripples gathering momentum. They started to push from within and could feel them moving and pushing other parts of the body to rhyme with them. Within no time, all were orchestrating. Before I could realise, the canvas around me started to blur. No longer were they containable as they found their way out and started to trickle down in a flow. I could not stop them from running down. She could never go out of my mind. I sat there with the thought of being alone, but I wasn’t. I was lonely.

Knew I Was . . .

“I will never leave you”, they vowed to each other. They did not want to bother about the times ahead and let the things unfold as they are bound to. Being happy in each other’s company, they just wished that it could go on forever in their lives. They would just lay in each other arms forgetting the entire world around them.

Time and distance played their role to perfection; created circumstances that tested their bonding. In their small happy world, discussions and arguments took birth. They would occasionally stretch into hours of silence between them. They eventually made up and grew stronger in the relationship. Sometimes fights in the relationship are important to understand each other better.  While both of them were possessive, he was a notch higher. It choked her at times.

As the times of testing got harder, turbulences became greater. Pangs of separation have started to hurt him. He wanted to see her, be with her even more. Not being able to communicate frequently hurt him even more. Pouring out concerns and debating them have dominated the most of the little time that was available for them. In spite of being aware of the importance of the time, the mountain of emotions got better of him. He knew it was testing times. But unknowingly his love had gagged her.

Time doesn’t always provide second chances. That day, it wasn’t enough for the patch up as she wasn’t reachable. Next couple of hours were uneventful. It was the silence before the storm. His phone beeped and was excited to message from her. There was a mail waiting for him. He slumped as soon as he saw it. It was from her and it read “Knew I was losing you”. He could not read it any further. It shook him up. He replied, hoping it to be a horrible joke being played on him and waited eagerly for a response. It was dawn and the sun was already high and shining resplendently. Still the computer said “There is no new mail”.

I Feel Like . . .

I feel like seeing you, but you aren’t visible

I feel like listening to you, but you aren’t audible

I feel like talking to you, but you aren’t listening

I feel like sharing with you, but you didn’t care

I feel like holding you, but you aren't present

I feel like hugging you, but you resist

I feel like being with you, but I am alone

Waiting . . .

Within minutes of the downpour, the rain had left me completely wet, when I was dry from within. I was emptied of all that I had. The clouds too desiccated and slowly parted ways paving the path for the sun to take the centre stage. Droplets of water shone like tiny pearls. The sunlight warmed my shivering body. Even the canopy of trees could not resist some of the rays coming from above. Gloomy rainy morning had transformed into sunny afternoon. I was still waiting with a hope to see her again. She had promised to be back soon.

The shadows started to become long and fade by the day.  The quite environment had turned into a noisy neighbourhood, as the hustling birds chirped raucously announcing their arrival back home. It was getting cold by the minute. I tucked my hands in the pockets and rested at the place where we had parted. I kept rubbing my hands against each other regularly to keep myself warm. Night had dawned and there was still no sight of her. The din had been replaced with the owls hooting, squeaking and creaking of crickets and others. It was a long night listening to the different sounds of the nature. The unobtrusive sounds of the night have gradually died down. The huge dark orange ball started to emerge from the horizon. It brought warmth and comfort. I eagerly looked around if she was just trying to play hide and seek with me. I looked everywhere possible, but she wasn’t there. In the deepest of my heart I knew she would come. A new day has begun, but my wait has been old as I kept looking in the woods waiting for her. 

We Fought Hard . . .

She ran like she ran for life. I had never seen being as fast as I continued to chase her. I was closing in on her when she did the unexpected. She turned sharply and flung it hard at me. Even before I could come to screeching halt, the violent blow took me by surprise. It shook me up a bit as she took one more hit at me before I recovered. I was now two strikes behind and sought revenge. I ran even harder to catch up with her. We exchanged numerous blows before I sensed her body giving away. Eyeing the opportunity, I went for the knock out. She fell on the bed as the cotton from the pillows was all around.  I fell onto the bed next to her as we laughed till we cried. We looked at each other and exchanged few things we could never say. I put my hand around her as she hugged me tight.

Sans Her

The knob turned and she was in the doorway smiling broadly, with open arms. As soon as I entered the room, she held me in warm embrace. She kissed delicately and made me comfortable. Her hug flushed out the day’s labour. I could feel her smooth fingers as I placed mine against hers.  She lay close to me, resting on my shoulder and playfully kissed the fingers. Her soft lips brushed against the fingers. She looked into my eyes lovingly and whispered in my ears. She was mine, as we lay there in each other’s arms.

The door clicked opened. Room lit brightly as I switched the lights on. The door closed behind me as I walked into the other room. It was empty. There was no life without her. Living without her was like living without life. 


I was alone and lonely.

The Friendly Valley

The landscape was covered by lush green carpet. Even though there was no uniformity in the thickness, it certainly looked bright and even darker in patches. Few trees announced to the fellow comrades of their height by standing out tall enough to be visible for miles. The invisibility cloak of the constantly moving clouds hid some of the hills, occasionally providing an opportunity for a quick glance. The altitude of the place made the place cooler than expected even during the summer. Sun light was welcome as it was soothing on the skin for a change. I was innately exultant experiencing the freshness of the nature.  I felt alive as I took deep breath and filled my lungs with the fresh air.

Surprisingly enough, dark clouds invaded and were slowly engulfing the bright skies. I could see their armies marching across the vast green cover. The hills too were timid to stand up for them. The valley whose depth I could not fathom looked even more sinister. The air got even cooler and I could feel the skin react to the sudden change in the climate. I rubbed my palms on my arms to generate some warmth. Innumerous thoughts about her crossed my mind with sporadic break of thoughtlessness.

I reflected on the instances, when she simply hugged me. I held her in my arms, and sometimes she tried to play mischievous with me.  She kissed me teasingly and sometimes passionately. In some situations, she would just simply smile and make my day.  I was full of her. These thoughts just made me smile for a minute before the dark clouds completed their invasion and started to exercise their might. The heavy drops of water woke me up from the dream and reminded me of the message that I received a while ago. Its contents shook my roots. Like a news ticker, my mind started played the contents “You are nothing more than a friend to me”.

By the time I reacted to the change in the climate, I was drenched completely. I could not make out the difference between the water coming from above and from within me. The heart was doing extra work pumping out extra blood to squeeze out the excess water from the body in tears. The water was making the vision blurred. The valley looked friendly all of a sudden with its outstretched arms. I needed a friend and I found one. I just closed my eyes hard, switching off the ticker and it was silent all around. 

The Promise

She said we would meet soon to which I replied in affirmative. She kept her side of promise. We did meet again. She was there standing at the door for me. She was dressed in white and looked ravishingly beautiful. The dress fitted her perfectly accentuating her curves. I was living a dream. I could not believe the moment had actually materialized. Guess my heart got used to the extra work load, as it started punching its chamber violently the moment she appeared in front of me.

I straight away took her into my arms without any delay. She smiled and reciprocated as she too held me tight. She was there in my arms and I was in no hurry to let her go. She was the drug that would keep a check on my heart beat. I let her go only after the medication had its complete effect. I looked into her eyes, pushing away the strands of hair blocking her vision. They conveyed a lot without even letting a syllable out of her mouth. My palms enclosed her face. As we got closer, she twitched and held me tight. We realized that we were more than friends.

We spent quality time with each other, occasionally expressing our love without saying it loud. Sometimes, when things are on a roll, you would need to expect the unexpected. She opened up few delicacies that were created by her own hands and served them for dinner. She not only fulfilled her promise, but also made it very memorable. The dinner was lip smacking and finger licking. As I was busy savoring and devouring the food, she slowly held me from behind. I could not have asked for more. Tears clouded my eyes for her act of love. I kissed her gently expressing my delight. The parting was pleasingly painful. I didn’t want to go, but I had to. I too had promised her something before leaving, and I am frantically waiting for the day to keep up mine.

Walk on the Beach

It was far away and looked like a small candle, guiding many for miles both on land and water. Located on the distant hill, it was the ray of hope. The hill bore the brunt as the waves crashed against it, while some of them lay low and gentle along the shore. Together they created an orchestra. The breeze responded to the artists’ as it swayed across continuously providing much relief to the tired souls.

The water was cold and it teased by wetting the bare feet as we walked along the shore. The distance was becoming delightfully mean, as our hands soon were clasped. The grip was pleasantly tight and was more than welcome. We talked various things all along. The words were also getting miserly as they preferred to stay indoors.

Tired of walking we gave our feet some respite. We just lay down on the shore watching the waves. The starry sky formed the perfect roof on our heads. We were near, but painfully far from each other. While many emotions waited to be conveyed, silence played the perfect medium. Heart was pounding so hard that I felt she might hear it. A smile crossed her face as I made the first move of moving closer to her. She was still smiling approvingly.

I turned sideways and put my hand around her waist. She was close, excruciatingly close. I could smell Bulgari on her. The fragrance was intoxicating. Her dusky skin was smooth and it was flawless. She closed her eyes shyly as I moved gradually from her cheeks to her lips. They opened partially welcoming the move. As the lips were locked gently, I could feel her hands wrapping me in a warm embrace. It seemed like eternity. After couple of minutes, we withdrew. I looked into her eyes and kissed her forehead. I moved from her and was lying down next to her. Soon, I could feel her head on my shoulder and her arm across my chest as she cuddled into me. We smiled and kissed again. The rest of the night was spent counting the stars.

3...2..1.

And suddenly the count down has stopped in its track. It would be business as usual as I had entered the glass doors for the last time. I could feel the gaze scathing me all over as I entered the arena. Milieu seemed far from normal despite the regular chores. The feeling of being lost in the ocean of emotions is no stranger to me now. Emotions preferred to stay indoors. I so wished that everything returned to normal as soon as possible for I could no longer be comfortable.

I shifted uneasily in the chair as it refused to budge so that I could easily hide from those piercing eyes. For a change time obliged to my request and it passed swiftly. I thanked god as I sat down to savor the unappetizing food for the last time with my comrades. Few chairs beside me bore a bare look and I guessed it right; something was being planned as a part of the ritual carried out on the last day of an employee. “Alert: Meeting in 5min” beeped on all the screens. As I paced into the meeting room brimming with people, expressions on their faces revealed it all. Uneasiness got control of me as I slowly slipped into a chair, making sure not to be in the limelight.

No sooner than the organizer cleared his throat, the loud chattering fell to hush tones. The fact that it was the ultimate day had been pronounced. Silence… it was deafening. I was prodded to say few words for the last time. They were all ears as words became sentences and they kept flowing until I cracked. The going was getting tougher. I never realized that it would be so difficult to part from everyone. Uneasy silence filled the air and as if to make the ambience more congenial, I was handed over the parting gift. People said few nice words as I busy opening the gifts. This is the end, I thought. I answered most of the doubting Thomas’ that were anxious about my few ventures and set about completing my formalities. Tears rolled out as they got heavier in the sockets and I found company in couple of others. Concoction of happiness and sadness ruled the day. I headed to the usual lair for the final ceremony, organized by my close chums. Out of the blue, goodie bag had been presented to me by the lair’s manager, wishing me all the best for my future endeavors. It was indeed moment of the day as it came from the most unexpected quarter. Some of the moments during that day plastered most of my fallacies and made it grueling to pass through those gates for the final time.

It was my last day...

The Dawn of the Dusk

7th May, 2010 it was the day. Absence of the clattering thoughts and feelings made the morning quiet. The only unscheduled event marked on the Calendar, had to be honored on that day. As I crawled out of the bed indolently, I could hear familiar faint noises in the drawing room. I walked aimlessly and I kept telling myself “Today is the day”. Mystified would be apt, as the emotions have failed to single themselves out. It was one of the most difficult choices I ever had to make due to lack of options. In spite of widely discouraged by the world, I choose to stand by the minority.

To rebuild the ruins and bring back the grandeur, Phoenix, I chose to be. As I got into the mud to carve out a better future, not only I dirtied my hands, but also I had been called as the one with a black soul. Silently I screamed, but little did it create any impact. Desolate, Despondent and no one to shoulder, phoenix started to falter. As the pull of tentacles wound around me grew stronger, the ground beneath me became shaky.

I lived a bit too long to see myself as a villain. Realization dawned upon me, for it is the time now. I decided to chop off the forces that bound me and stand my ground. It was late in the evening when I went about the job unceremoniously. Though it was not the ideal way of execution, I did not find any resistance. I was neither in pain, nor happy as the emotions isolated me. I felt light as I walked out of those glass doors through which I will be passing for a finite number of times now.

Count Down has begun.