Why is it?!

Why is it that a man’s feelings for a woman never tone down even after years of separation both physically and emotionally? Is it love, emotional dependency, sex or the sheer inability to embrace reality?

Once a man believes that he is in love with a woman, he conveniently ignores the remaining priorities in life like family, friends, career etc. This belief keeps him going strong without the support of the natural phenomenon of life and eventually he forgets that he is what he is because the natural phenomenon functioned naturally till such time that he started to believe otherwise. Since life is moving on more than smoothly, he forgets the importance of what supported him all his life.

The day he realizes that his belief does not hold ground for whatever reasons, it becomes eternally difficult to accept life normally again since he consciously eradicated normalcy from his life. This is where the problem arises; ambiguity in accepting one’s own life.

Living your life in parts is a solution, i.e. separating your work life from personal life. But come on, who are we kidding, how can other parts of your life be normal if the most vital part is shattered?

Taking to drinking and other vices is another solution. Trust me, I have tried and it does not help in moving on, except, you can talk or write philosophy like am currently doing or get drunk and pass out, then wake up to reality only this time with a hangover.

Then what is the solution? Maybe, it is to keep searching for a solution till you gather the balls to start believing otherwise again……..

The above piece has been written by one of my friends whose identity may be revealed after he/she wishes to. Till then let’s call - Anonymous

Let's Dance . . .

As the doors closed behind her, she entered a small room ornamented vastly with the antiques. The lights were out and the room was lit by the dim light emanated from numerous candles across the room. Granite walls and the high ceiling have created some dampness in the air. The dry wood in hearth burned red and provided warmth. There was a table set for a romantic candle light dinner for two. She suddenly felt uncomfortable and alone.

Beethoven shattered the silence. She looked around to see him walking out of the room dressed in a black jacket and bunch of red roses in his hand. His face radiated with some aura of calmness around on him. He was beaming with joy. He noticed her as he entered the room. She was draped in a deep red strapless gown, which augmented the curves. The thin chain accentuated her neckline. She was looking ravishing as she glowed in the candle light. She smiled at him acknowledging the compliment from him.

She placed the roses on the table, near the deck. Music filled in the silence between them. He smiled and stretched his hand forward inviting the lady for a dance. He had planned the evening countless number of times in the last couple of days. He went over the scene, taking care of every minute detail. There was a brief pause as she looked into his eyes for few more seconds. She could feel the eagerness in his eyes. She then stepped forward and placed her hand in his outstretched palm.

He came closer had clasped his hand around her waist. Her fragrance filled his lungs as he took a deep breath. He loved the perfume. She matched his steps and soon they were in a flow. He guided her through the steps which he had learnt recently. They were gliding through the music as smoothly as a brush in an artist’s hand. All the happy memories flooded his mind. He was proud and happy as everything was going as per the plot.

 

Everything looked in sync. The tunes were getting better, and every cell in their bodies was swaying by it. The dance was like the elixir, as the surroundings seemed to spring to life. There was romance in the air. He loved her company and the chemistry was clearly visible. The steps got slower and they got closer. He could feel her.

Just as they started to lose themselves, she whispered something in his ear. He took couple of steps behind and stared into her eyes in disbelief.  The words reverberated in his ears and could not hear her anymore. Tears rolled down effortlessly and his hands came off her. She was still speaking but he did not care anymore. She seemed to finish talking as she turned her back to him and soon disappeared. He always felt that he was just a blink away, but little did he know that how wrong he was. He wanted to make that day, the most memorable on in their lives. Instead it would be etched in his life as a day he would love to forget.

The grand finale was the cue on which the dance would breathe life into a fresh one. The plot was played to its perfection with an exception to the twist in the tale. He took out the tiny box from his pocket and hurled it away. It opened up, on landing; the content of which would have bound them together. As he looked at it, he felt lost and lonely and his vision started to blur again.

The Last Dance . . .

Dreams . . . Reality . . .

He woke up, just hoping it to be a dream. He checked his mobile to see if there had been any call the previous night or it was yet another bad dream. In fact it was more of a night mare. He never wanted it to happen, not again. He was too sleepy to take the calling coming through. The phone spelled out the name of the caller. It took some sleep off his eyes. Immediately he called back expecting to hear something pleasant, a surprise. Couple of minutes through the call, he was shaken wide awake; it was a shock. The call was rude, upfront and clearly made a mockery of his feelings. He read between the lines and tried to map it with incidents that have been happening lately. He realized that it was not the normal call. It wanted him to get off.

The list of the calls showed a missed call late in the night and a call that went through minutes later. He realized that it was no dream. It was real. It was all over, done and complete. He could recall that she despised him. She did not want him anymore. Things did not go smoothly and she did break up with him sometime back. But he never wanted it, for he loved her for life. He did not let the love and hope die. At every smallest of the instance, he wished for a miracle to happen and day dreamed about her running back to him. It turned out to be just a day dream.

He lost it completely. He couldn’t stand any longer after being a witness to something he dreaded. It wasn’t something he expected to see, not in such short span of time. Probably she already had one foot out of the door. He failed in changing her direction as it looked like the destination was fixed and it was just the matter of time. She could hardly feel his absence. She was no longer there waiting for him. He did see her interests somewhere else, but he never let it weed into his wall of hope; neither his friends could convince him into moving on. However, the wall crumbled when he saw her with someone else. She moved on, even before he could even get a hint of it. He could never comprehend the possibility of moving on so fast. Is it that she never loved him or moving on to someone else was easy? Answers to these questions eluded him, as he kept walking through the night without direction. 

It's Time . . . Move On

He drank some water and got back to bed. She was lying there wrapped in the covers. He loved to watch her sleep, as she was lying next to him after a long tiring evening. He slipped under the covers slowly taking care not to disturb her. He could feel the warmth of her body as he put his hand around her and cuddled up with her. A smile crossed his face as he closed his eyes, satisfied that he was the lucky to have her with him.

He woke up to find himself still wrapped among the sheets, but on the floor. The surroundings were familiar but, different from where he had been with her. He banged his head against his hand to recollect something. He was lost. He heard some voices in a room not quite far from him. He looked around frantically and she was not there next to him. He was scared, surprised and tensed for not many of his friends knew about her; though not officially yet. He tried to keep it a guarded secret. But then, he was in a shock yet to figure out what happened the previous night.

“Good Morning”, he was greeted with a cup of coffee. The faces were very familiar to him. Those were the faces he tried to guard his secret from. For couple of minutes, whatever they spoke vanished in thin air. They behaved normally with him as if nothing has happened. Nothing made sense to him. He walked out into the balcony trying to put the pieces together. He closed his eyes to recall the last visuals in his mind. Slowly things were falling in place. He remembered dining with his friends and then dropping them home after sipping instant coffee at home. Everything was now clear to him. It was one of the pleasant memories that were haunting him. Couple of tears trickled down his cheeks as he tried to come to terms with reality. He realized that it was all over and he had to move on. He wiped them off, took a deep breath and he turned back. 

Every Time . . .

Every time I stop, I start thinking about you

Every time I fail, I try to please you

Every time I close my eyes, I see you

Every time I sleep, I dream of you

Every time I try to forget you, I remember you

Every time I do, I do it for you

Every time you talk, I listen to you

Every time you touch, I feel you

Every time you hug me, I have you

Every time you kiss, I feel alive

Every time you do, I Love You

Twitch

Amidst the dark clouds, the sun shone brilliantly. As it began to wind up the day’s business, it painted the canvas with vivid orange, purple, yellow and red. While the fiery red seemed to burn down anything, the cool shades of purple provide soothing. Metals & concrete basked in the glow of the setting sun. The decibel levels of the traffic have started to amplify as the ones on the earth began to wind up for the day.

He was standing there, his body silhouetted against the setting sun. Standing tall at almost 6 feet, his broad shoulders made him look like an athlete.  He was staring into the vast expanse of the sky as unknown calmness pervaded his mind. As the light bounced off his white tee, he glistened in the evening light.

It was getting dark and cold as thick black clouds now enveloped sky. Everything looked miniscule to him as he settled on the edge of the tallest concrete structures in the city. The view was spectacular, overseeing most of the monumental places in the city. Acrophobia never allowed him to venture near the edges; but it was a different day. He felt no fear.

The sweet smell of aerosol permeated all around as few heavy drops of rain has hit the earth hard. He could feel the hair raise as the first drops of rain kissed his skin. He looked up and closed his eyes to feel the heavens. Rain started to caress his face and slowly doused him completely.

Natural light from the sun is now replaced by the artificial luminance. He opened his eyes and he could see the things around him blur. They were too heavy for the eyes to hold them any longer. They started to trickle down his cheeks. He did not care to wipe them. They were camouflaged with the rain, just as he would like it.

He seemed to be lost in his thoughts as a smile crossed his face. He stood up to see the ground deep below him. He took a step forward and closed his eyes. The next moment, he felt like a feather being swayed by the breeze. He could feel the gravitation pull him close to its bosom. As he fell into the arms of mother earth, he twitched and opened his eyes to the darkness around.

My Dear . . .Message to my Love

I have tried my best conveying my love to you in different ways and I resort to my favorite way, to pen down my feelings. You are the person whom I loved the most so far in my life. I always wanted to see you happy and I have tried my best to do so. I would do anything to see you happy.

I just love the feeling of being with you. I do agree that we have had our share of fights. But that does not deter me from loving you. In fact it increases the intensity to be with you. I somehow never get tired of you. I understand you need your space, but I don’t mind losing mine to you.

Everything I do, I do it just to please you. I keep thinking of various ways to surprise you everyday. One smile from you or a hug from you would make my day. It takes away all weariness of the day.

I do not know how to spend my evenings, as I gave the world a miss to be with you always. But I have to accept the fact that you are not near me. I promise to call you everyday and update you on the day’s frivolities.

Miss you and Love you . . .

*** Sharing one of the letters I have come across . . .